Thursday, October 22, 2009

It could happen to you...

It is not quite the evening yet, and night has hours yet to be born from twilights womb. The summer sun still lingers annoyingly high, but the nine-to-fivers have parked the car and are looking for the remote, adding ice to their second scotch and water.

The temperature matches the colors as grays become reds and the landscape seems to deepen.

Someone, somewhere, has cracked their first beer. If you listen carefully, to can hear the kacheeeesk and the slurp that inevitably follows.

They may be partying, they may be just hanging out, or they may be sitting on the couch watching Forensic Files. Whatever they may be doing now, 3 hours and ~8 beers later they will be at the computer.

A bookmark click here, a Google search there, winding their way closer... They might even have a blog, and on this blog a blogroll, and on this blogroll, your site may be listed.

“Oh, lookey,” they say, “a new post,” slurp, “let’s go take a peek."

Their fingers follow along as their eyes are forced open wide enough to keep the words from smashing together. They laugh, they cry, they have an idea, a thought that must be voiced in type, tick, click, tick goes the keys as their intoxicatedness spills onto the keyboard.

They giggle at their cleverness as their hand moves the cursor toward the “Submit Comment” button and engages. Convex becomes concave as their inebriated mental state is forced into textual existence.

The deed has been done, you have been drunk-commented, and even with spelling errors and keyboard-topography mistakes, you may not even know it.

On the phone, it’s easy:

“Dave… your drunk, aren’t you?”
“Maybe… hehe.”

Problem Solved.

But in this electronic age there are many more forums for the inebriated communicator. Drunk texts, drunk emails, drunk tweets…. And with proper grammar often flying out the window even in states of complete sobriety, how is one to know?

Has your blog been subject to drunken commenting? Has someone left their skewed mark on your page? Do you even care? Does it matter? Is it better that way? They do say that ones true feelings come out in times of intoxication....

-Alex who knows how easy it is to get in trouble with the click of a mouse.


  1. Aaaah stop winging and have another beer for fuck sake!

  2. Anonymous5:36 AM

    hey Alex,

    not really, but then i don't get many comments to start with, so i went on and wrote an article about booze myself. actually it has to do with not drinking booze but it's kinda the same. i'm still fucked up but at least i have a bit more money to spend on important things like the latest nymphing helmet or a buff that matches my personality.

  3. Anonymous8:54 AM

    @Marc - The latest nymphing helmet is made of coconuts:

    For the budget conscious. So keep on drinking.

  4. I used to think that the stupid shit I would say to people was because I was drinking.... But after a recent month of no alcohol I found that it was just me, and that drove me to start drinking again.

  5. ...and..I'm drunk

  6. sometimes I'm so drunk when I drunk comment I have to look at the screen with one eye to focus. I find that drunk commenting is a lot like having beer goggles at the bar you think you're kickin ass at the time until you wake up next to something that vaguely reminds you of a Sasquatch. you wish it WAS Sasquatch because at least Sasquatch is blurry. I guess thats not quite as bad as drunk commenting but you get my point. I too will regret this very message and will go on to drink to forget about it and will go on to do more drunken commenting.

  7. I am sober but I want to be drunk, so I can leave a drunk comment...... It seems the fad these days

  8. Is drunken commenting still drunken commenting if the blog itself was written while drunk blogging?

    And, why do I characterize myself as an adventure travel humor writer (and sometimes wannabe fly fisherman—hence the humor) when a common component of many of my posts seems to involve some form of alcohol.

    (Water is for water sports. Scotch is for drinking.)

  9. Yes.

    And involving drinking in a written story is like eating mashed potatoes: They are pretty good by themselves but better as a side dish.


What sayeth you?