Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Think Hard.

-Alex who knows it has been far too long since he served up some 'toon goodness.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I always knew that dude from Krull was a sicko.

cyclops bull shark... via chum.


Saturday, June 25, 2011

It's more awesomer than what you had for dinner.

-Alex who knows that you know he is right.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

free high

I have never liked painting. I guess I don't really have the patience for it. But I do believe that things worth doing are worth not fucking up, so you might as well do it the right way.

Aircraft Paint Remover is not as special as it sounds, especially since it says not to use it on aircraft. I hate removing paint. I detest the way it never comes out of the cracks in the welds.

Painting bare aluminum is a pain in the ass. But since the factory paint was falling off the standing platform on the used pontoon I recently bought I felt obligated to do something about it before I owned it long enough not to care. Plus that damned thing is slick as hell under slip-on rubber shoes and a little preventative care is never a bad thing.

Also, while I sit here watching the paint dry... what do think about these FB comment boxes?

Friday, June 17, 2011

half empty

The splinters of ice in the whisky clinked lightly in the bottom of his glass as he stood in the dark and stared out the small dusty window to the front yard. Concrete, weeds and tan dirt stared back. The driveway needed to be swept.

A pealing-white van with a dent slowly clanked by as a few bits of refuse caught the breeze scratched their way across the carport. He took a sip from his glass and picked at a mosquito bite on his knuckle. He couldn’t remember the last time it rained and wondered where the little fuckers were breeding. A stack of old tires near a sprinkler, a neglected fountain, something, somewhere nearby, over the wall or across the alley. Standard blue collared yard shit- collected, stored, ignored by someone too thick to know that their trash was cultivating annoyance.  He poured the remaining contents of the tumbler into his mouth and scratched his knuckle against the seam of his pant leg.

He thought about how inefficiently he used dental floss and how blind people differentiate the denomination of paper money. He ran his eyes along the painted grain of the window trimming and wondered where the tree had been felled that produced it. He thought about the empty glass, the bottle on the counter, and having nothing to do at 1:45pm on a Thursday.

He felt the stretch of his shirt, the push of the ground and the condensation evaporating from his finger tips and for the briefest of moments felt the clarity of complete indifference.

He shifted his weight and heard something crinkle under his flipflop. He looked down, slowly bent and picked up the faded note and held it to the light:

olive oil
p chops
chipotle mar.

It was written in his hand but he didn’t remember the meal. He crumpled the list, tossed it at the trash can and missed.

He thought about his bucket of change; nickels, quarters, dimes and pennies - Maybe enough for a thousand miles of road if he rolled it himself. Eight hundred, if he dumped it in that green machine at Food City.

Go north, a small voice whispered in the cockles of his subconscious. It wasn't enough and he knew it. Not enough to get where he wanted to go.

The shards of ice tinked in the bottom of his empty glass.

He stared out the small dusty window to the front yard.

The driveway needed to be swept.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Our state is on fire... can we come fish yours?

Everything, it seems, is burning in Arizona.

In northern AZ strong winds push the Wallow fire as it chews through the forests and prairies of the White Mountains. Belching smoke and ash and defecating destruction, it has consuming over 300,000 acres so far making it the second largest fire in AZ history. As of four hours ago it was 0% contained.

Out east the Horseshoe Two fire burns around Silver Peak. 106,000 acres. 50% contained.

To the southeast crews are cleaning up the last bits of the Arlene fire. 10,000 acres. 70% contained.

Down south the Murphy Fire wanders around the hills and rough peaks just east of Arivaca Lake, a sneaky bastard. 50,000 acres. 15% contained.

Well, what's a fat guy to do? Go fishing, of course.

Sunday, June 05, 2011


Step 1
Abide, anticipate, await, bide, bide one's time, cool it, dally, delay, expect, fill time, foresee, hang around, hang onto your hat, hang out, hold back, hold everything, hold on, hold the phone, hole up, keep shirt on, lie low, look for, look forward to, mark time, put on hold, remain, sit tight, stall, stand by, stay, stay up for, stick around, sweat it, tarry.

Step 2
Anticipate, bide, lie in wait, expect, pause, remain, rest, sojourn, stay, stick around, linger.

Step 3
Ambuscade, assail, assault, box in, bushwhack, decoy, dry gulch, ensnare, entrap, hem in, hide, jump, lay for, lurk, set trap, surprise, surround, trap, wait, hook, net.

Step one complete.