Monday, December 29, 2008

Bragging rights.

Do I have Bragging rights, I am not sure. Due to where I live and the waters I get to fish I guess I am just lucky for this opportunity. I have spent most of my time in Arizona where fishing is good not great but if you know how to fish and really put time into it you can do really well, Aaron and Alex can prove that. I live on the South Platte River in Deckers Colorado. where it is amazing fishing. A while ago some old guy in a bar who shall go nameless for being a dumb ass told me, "South Platte river sucks for fishing you should go to Eleven Mile or Sprinny." Ok I am not a worm and bobber kind of guy, I want a fly rod, waders, flies, and the sweetest river water you can imagin. When Aaron and Alex were fishing up here with me we had a shitty time for the river. Dirty high flow and fucking confused fish. So the fishing wasnt too good. But its now winter the flow is perfect and deckers is not swamped with people "trying" to catch fish. The real anglers are our in the freezing cold and making the best of it. You know its a great time to fish when you and your boss go out in a small battle of "Lets see who can catch the smallest fish." I won! with a rainbow 10 inches. BUT thats not all we caught, our average fish was around 2 pounds. I nailed 2 beasts today, one 6lbs and anothr 5 lbs. Think I am full of shit???? Check out my pictures!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Do you know these people?

We all know these people, and some of us see them every day in the mirror. In the world of fly fishing, who are you?

The Show-off
You only exist in the minds of others, therefore you are only as good of a fisherman as other people think you are.
It doesn’t matter what you are doing if no one is watching.
If no one is watching you might as well stay home and play with yourself and watch cable.
You fear looking stupid.
You are not mad that you went squirrel fishing and caught a tree, but you are mad because someone saw you do it.
The way your gear looks is almost more important than how it functions.
You spent 20 minutes sitting next to the river re-spooling your Orvis cause you never really intended to be seen using your $20 plastic back-up reel.
You have a fishing blog, which is set up with Google Analytics, so you can be sure people are actually looking at your posts.
You paid $50 for a SAGE sticker.
You have masturbated to a Trout Bum video.

The Dude
You abide with the best of them.
Your gear works and that’s all that is important.
Your Scientific Angler floating like has become sinking tip, but that’s cool cause most of it still floats.
You have gone fishing and forgot your pole, but remembered the liquor.
You think paying $100 for a fishing vest is absurd. That’s what cargo pants are for.
You wear sandals.
Fishing is just another excuse for drinking outside. Catching a fish is a bonus.
You hemostats are “multi-purpose”.
You have referred to a fly you tied as “trippy”.

The Introvert
People think you are an asshole. You may or may not be, but you don’t care either way.
Your gear is very important and is kept clean and well oiled, but having the newest and most expensive and best looking stuff is not.
You mostly fish alone, not because you don’t have friends, but because you like it better that way. And you probably don’t have that many friends anyways. The ones you do have are most likely considered assholes too.
You are a good fisherman, and catch some real nice slabs. But no one has ever seen a photo of one.
You don’t get drunk while fishing, but you usually have a pocket flask filled with Scotch.
You fish every chance you get, in large part to get away from your wife.

The Computer Angler
It takes you less time to write a line of code than tie a surgeons knot.
You read every fly fishing blog, and are always up to date on news, flows, new tying patterns.
Like “The Show Off”, you also have a blog, but most of it is regurgitating news and videos from other sites. You are far too busy keeping up to date in the fly community to have an original thought about it.
Your blogroll is a novel.
You still live with your parents, and you do fish, but your allowance money is not enough to buy much equipment and your mom only lets you use the car for “important stuff”.
You sunburn easily.

The Intergalactic Oneness Seeker
You are not a human doing, or a human living, you are a human being…. Or some shit.
You think fishing is a peaceful, introspective practice and use the time to reflect on your life.
You are not very good at most sports, but you do like being outdoors.
You may have taken up fly fishing as suggestion from your therapist.
Not only do you pinch the barb, but you straighten the bend, so you don’t hurt the fish.
You chum with tofu.
You drive a Toyota hybrid.

Who am I missing?

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Drawn While Drunk productions presents...

Most people have to pay for a badass drunken hand drawn image of themselves. Thanks to Aaron, we are not those people. Be sure to read the disclaimer.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bow your head and raise your glass

I would like to propose a toast.
It has been a couple weeks since I have been to the water. I was starting to get a little stale. After reading a post on fishbeer, I was inspired to create "The Toast" seen above. You know that would look awesome on your wall.

According to Wikipedia, a fish is defined as any non-tetrapod chordate, (i.e., an animal with a backbone), that has gills throughout life and has limbs, if any, in the shape of fins. They are not cute or cuddly, and unlike some popular speculation they are not even close to intelligent. And please don't try to tell me that the last big brown that wrapped your leader around some unseen sunken object and broke you off had any idea what it was doing other than spasmatically freaking out. By the way, if fish could scream that would be terrifying. Just imagine after a hook-set, your fighting that big bow wen he jumps out of the water and AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! splash. I'm just sayin'. But anyways....

If only these slippery bug-eating creatures from watery dimensions could comprehend the power they held over some of us. Just for a second, just a taste of the heart-pounding, frenzied-eyed lunacy that drives us out into threatening landscapes, waterscapes and any other scapes that lead to pescatorial pursuit. Would they think us mad?

Herbert Hoover once said that "Fishing is a discipline in the equality of men - for all men are equal before fish." Throwing them right up there with the Law and God himself is a hefty burden to bear, but that added weight does not seem to bother our little shoulder-less friends. And monkeys can't breath under water.

So, all you heathens, bow your heads and raise your glasses. Make sacrifice your 12-pack and hotdog stuffed bratwurst to the lords of the liquid realm. Rejoice in the glory of the catch and hail your scaly master.

Or don't. After all, it's just a fucking fish.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Colorado's South Platte update!

So thanks to Aaron's fly "Big foots dick" I got this nice 3.5lb rainbow, we grow em big up here!

Then when the snow started to fall i noticed it was too cold to fish (usually we wont say that). When your guides start to ice up, you cant feel your toes, and when you cast straight but you line still hold kinks, you know its time to pack it up. So I figured "What the hell, one last drift!" Then, BOOM! My indicator slams under the water and I set the hook. I have to be very carefull the Nymph i am using is a size 24 and the hit this fish took was massive. After playing with the fish I soon hoped it would break off, because by this point I felt my balls sucking back into my body and felt as if I was turning into a woman. I said screw it and muscled the fish in, (lucky I didn't bent the hook too much). i netted it in a hurry and got my camera out quick.
The next morning:
My tractor doest have any protection! This sucks!!!! Plowing snow at 8:30am in -4 weather. I felt the ice collect on my beard and the snot freezing in my nose. Its only a small price to pay when you live in a mountain paradise with a river right on property!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Couple thoughts from today.

A fly on the water is worth a thousand in the bush.

A $100 rod and a $700 rod break exactly the same if shut in a car door.

The better a fly looks, the better it will look stuck in a tree.

If you want to hook into a large trout, forget your net.

You being drunk makes fish fight harder.

Being drunk also makes you post stuff like this.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Paddleboards potentially dangerous for FGFF

FGFF paddleboard test, elapse time 10 sec.
I used to skateboard, but I wasn't very good. I have never surfed, but I have fell out of a 12 foot aluminum boat, and I wasn't even drunk. The first thought when I saw the Osceola Elite Paddleboard was "wow, thats pretty neat" followed quickly by "I would totally fall the hell off that thing."

Add a six pack to swinging around a bass bug on my 8wt.... in the words of Pvt. Hudson: "Game over, man."