Coulda Been a Contender

Walt Redman called that fucker in, and the son of a bitch just about jumped into the truck. He stood about twenty yards from us, grunting and snorting, bloodshot eyes, covered in piss.

He had just been talking to her from down in the valley. Then he heard some other asshole bugling up here with her and he came to see about that. She was here somewhere; that pretty little cow elk that he had heard talking all slutty.

He got to the top of the hill and stopped.

What the hell is this? He stared, still quivering with desire. Who are these bastards? Two big metal bastards and three two-legged bastards standing up here all alone in the early morning light.

He stomped the ground and turned slightly, grunting. Something ain’t right, he knew now. The wind shifted and he caught the scent and turned his big head bolted down the hill, pussy be damned this shit smelled dangerous and he got out of here.

That was Tuesday. Elk season stated Friday. That randy kid wasn’t going to be tricked a second time. No sir.

Friday morning we hit the call, waved, and said hello from 425 yards as he turned and walked away, knowingly. That was the end of that.

I will become a better elk hunter. Yes. I will.



-Alex who will never be okay with 2am as a "get up" time.

If you haven't seen this yet.....

I remember a while ago, like 4 years ago, when I was thinner, when Alex was fat, and Aaron was just the same, I was living in Colorado. Alex and Aaron came to visit me for a few days of fishing the coffee colored waters of the South Platte river. It was a heavy rain 2 days before the arrival of Aaron and Alex, the clear low waters of the South Platte turned into a super creamed out coffee look, the flow tripled, the fish were not around too much. But with the help of beer, 16oz. steaks every night, double or triple burgers for lunch everyday, it was a feast and a fest for a fat guy who loves to fish. The days consisted of fishing, drinking, and fishing. The night consisted of drinking, bars and eating. It was fun. Very very fun.

 

These were some fun days.

TFM Groping

It is kinda like TFM spotting, but instead of having someone take a photo of you sporting the shirt, you drink a lot of alcohol and then fondle/molest someone wearing one.

I, in fact, have this contest won forever because I started at the top, the highest level, the peak of the mountain with the Man Cam himself. It's like spelling Chuck Norris in scrabble. You win for life.

-Alex who was thinking about stealing one of those onion rings so hard.

you are not allowed to complain...

...if you didn't pinch the barb.

-Alex who reminds you to yank quickly.

go time

It's here. Again. And I am ready. Have been ready, it feels, for too long.

There is nothing worse than idle anticipation, having already done the shopping and packed the truck days before.

For the last 48 hours I have been wandering around aimlessly between the tying bench, the refrigerator and the gear room searching for anything to keep my eyes off the clock.

Tie some gaps in the trout boxes, make a drink, loiter in the yard, scratch myself, rearrange the contents of my bag. Repeat.

But now the time has come, my friends. The 22nd Annual Wrinkleneck Tournament is here and I am headed out tomorrow as early as I can stand, Kyle and Aaron heading out a little later in the day.

Time for Team Fat Guys to once again bring the pain.

-Alex who plans on bringing home the 1st place trophy again just to be a dick.

Top 10?

Awesome!



Due to our enjoyment of fishing, and drinking we have made the top ten best fly fishing websites for the fellas at The Daily Hunt and Fish.

As they say,
"Their fat, their fun, their a bit crude, and they love to fish. This is what blogging is all about. A few buddies not only documenting their fishing adventures but also giving us a glimpse into their strange but real life. WARNING this website is not for everybody. I will not pull up this site up with my seven year old next to me. It is a true blog you never know what they will post next."

For me I would like to note some our special talents,
Alex, amazing with the camera, video making, most of the stuff on here, dedication to catch the fish, the only one of us that is fully literate, and putting up with Kyle's shit.

Aaron, Knowing where and when to fish, ability to drink "copious" amounts of booze, producing amazing yet horribly disturbing body smells, and putting up with Kyle's shit.

And for myself, I am always ready to put my body through a new experiment for research or just for the hell of it.

And to the Fellas at Daily Hunt and Fish, thank you for helping up spread the word!

Yay! Super happy fun time tying video!

Before the Holbox trip I was over at Mikes house drinking whiskey and tying some leaders when I asked him how he attached a particular weed guard on one of his flies. He said he would show me. Then he decided to just tie a whole fly. Then we decided to film it.

So, yeah. Here it is, beotches.

Devious Behaviour - some hot video on video action

1)

2)

Carp Slam and Fish Can't Read Podcast on Fish Explorer

My cell rang at 12:30 sharp and I knew who it was. "You ready to do this?" It was Tim Emery, the Carp Slam Tournament Director and Field Editor for FishExplorer.com. We were going to do a Podcast about the new e-mag Fish Can't Read, its coverage of the Slam, and some other randomness. So I said I was, and we began.

Up until this point in my life I was a podcast virgin, and I think Tim did a good job of breaking me in gently, and besides my nonsensical ramblings I think it went pretty well.


You Can Hear It Here.

-Alex who is glad he remembered to set his alarm.

Due to the comments about Tred Barta

I see many of you think this guy is blasphemy to the fly fishing world. I would have to agree. I have googled the guy to see what others in the world think. It turns out friends we are not alone. So many blogs and pages dedicated to the "Tred Barta is a Jerk" topic. And now it makes me wonder how this guy has a TV show..... why the hell don't the Fat Guys have a TV show? We may not be nearly as good as him, or many of you who read the blog, on catching fish, yet I assure you if the three of us had our own show, it would be pure entertainment.
Oh and we don't have our heads stuck up our ass!

I could see it now