If you haven't seen this yet.....

I remember a while ago, like 4 years ago, when I was thinner, when Alex was fat, and Aaron was just the same, I was living in Colorado. Alex and Aaron came to visit me for a few days of fishing the coffee colored waters of the South Platte river. It was a heavy rain 2 days before the arrival of Aaron and Alex, the clear low waters of the South Platte turned into a super creamed out coffee look, the flow tripled, the fish were not around too much. But with the help of beer, 16oz. steaks every night, double or triple burgers for lunch everyday, it was a feast and a fest for a fat guy who loves to fish. The days consisted of fishing, drinking, and fishing. The night consisted of drinking, bars and eating. It was fun. Very very fun.

 

These were some fun days.

accessorize like a man

Like, OMG Karen! It even matches his hip and stylish Patagonia sweater! That guy is so awesome we should take our clothes off in his presence.

It could happen.

-A

Just like Alex, I too can be a winner

My post to Field and Stream, Has won me a "Little Red Fly Fishing Book" due to my non-fear of self exposure!

And this may hurt your eyes.

-Kyle

delicious murder

The white truffle hid in the cool red folds. The garlic was angry and prowling and the olive oil made traction impossible. Absolutely no footing at all. The elk was long dead and the ectomycorrhizal fruiting body was sure to follow.

There was a low hum in the dim evening light that was felt more than heard. Muffled voices mumbled intoxicated through the wall. Smoke swirled around the patio through the sliding door.

A man appeared from the living room and walked to the refrigerator and removed a bottle of beer. Another man, in a camoflage baseball hat moved over to the plastic container and loomed above. The man with the beer stepped up beside and pointed a proud finger towards the warming flesh.

"Yeah?"
"Yeah."

He took a pull from the bottle and wiped his mouth on his arm and nodded. "Yeah."

A third man stepped into the room to join the others, knowing the time was close at hand.

The truffle closed it's eyes and shuddered, remembering the screams of the tomatoes when the door was slammed on the metal cylinder, their steaming lifeless eyes as they were dumped unceremoniously into the mixing bowl. The poor, innocent potatoes; their skin sliced from their bodies one dreadful howling slice at a time till they bled-out sticky on the white counter just to be dumped half-dead into the boiling liquid. At least the broccoli had been quick; a merciful decapitation.

A browning banana on the edge of the microwave looked down with sad, beaten eyes.

There was a grinding noise and the plate was lifted from the counter. They were moving toward the smoke. The chives cried out as the lid opened and the fire rolled and howled. The yellow peppers were stubborn and resolute, their faces unreadable as they were placed one by one on the hot steel with a sickening sizzle.

The garlic panicked.

The meat fell with a slap. The pain was instant and unbearable. The truffle choked through a scream into the smoke as the man with the beer placed another bleeding slab on the grill. The coals hissed in anger and flames flashed in terrible chaos. The truffle could take no more. The last thing it saw before losing consciousness was the face of the man in the camouflage baseball hat floating in the darkening twilight.

He was smiling.

-Alex who likes his death rare, please.

What is itching in my pants?

Kyle- No I don't really have crabs

A Tip

Fat Guys, fishbeer and some yeast poop in CO

I knew it would happen sooner or later, and that it would be sweet. I have always praised the combination and understood that there is a love-love relationship between being outdoors and enjoying a few oat sodas, but I think few men have taken it to the level of Matt Dunn, the mastermind behind Fishbeer.com, who just happened to occupy the same space and time with a few fat guys last weekend, (including Michael Gracie, the self-proclaimed 3/4 fat guy).

The atmosphere was light, and the 20oz draughts were cold at Govnr's Park as the conversation fluttered around fishing, midgets (as it will often do in the presence of Kyle) and beer. Matt spoke about the class that he taught in Indiana The Art and Science of Beer: History, Technology, and Culture and the disappointment of frat boys who realize too late that "beer bong dynamics" is not covered in the course. He enlightened us uneducated beer-drinkers that in the past men, women and children alike drank beer daily, and I have learned by perusing one of his online power-point lectures that the first recorded recipe is for brewing beer. Awesome.

It does not take long to understand that Matt knows a lot about beer and has a great passion about the subject - and I don't mean like your buddy who brewed it once in his kitchen and feels smart in front of the ladies when talking about things like "mouthfeel," "palate," and "nose." Matt is a pro, and was more than happy to do a little R&D with some new friends in Denver.

After a few rounds, some tasty drinks and food the afternoon came to an end, and we had to depart. Matt will be running around Colorado for a few more weeks, and I believe he has plans to camp and do some hot-nighttime-mouse-on-river action with Gracie tomorrow. Keep an eye out on Gracie's site for that post, as I threw him some hot tips for night photography that I hope will pay off with some full-moon eye candy.

Matt, it was a pleasure, and you are welcome down here is AZ anytime. The fishing may not be as good as CO, but the drinking is first-rate.

-Alex who should stay behind the camera.

Not this weekend, but the next.

If you are in the Tucson area, take note. Drinks will be had and booty will be plundered.

Oh lord is this Armageddon?

So yes Alex will be out here before long, With MG and Kyle to drink till the day is done we have only hit the base of destruction! Fish have no chance, well Alex has no chance! Just kidding!!!! So we all know the world (at least Colorado) has seen its last days, why can't Aaron come up as well?

Another preview of things to come....

-Alex who is excited about learning how to fly fish.

Beer, it is great. but the Economy sucks

So all this shit is happening with the economy and everyone everywhere has some views on it. As we all know no view is good this day for our economy.

Instead of listing shit about our economy I decided to list my top 10 beers. Lets face it when shit hits the fan you can still grab a beer and feel better.

10. Shock Top- Missouri
9. Moose Drool- Montana
8. Blue Moon- Colorado, or Canada, but I live in Colorado so there
7. Paulaner- Germany
6. Point- Wisconsin
5. Guinness- Ireland
4. Red Stripe- Jamaica
3. New Castle- Great Britain
2. Weihenstephaner- Germany
1. Harp- Ireland

Oh and Whiskey tops all beers all the time.

-Kyle