Thursday, May 05, 2011


Lately at the vise I seem to have been a little distracted. With the days warming I have been occupied with tying large things. Wiggly things. Long, swimming things and things that pop and push water like a greasy fat kid on a water park slide...

...all the while neglecting the most basic necessities of any fresh water fly collection.

The bugger is a staple and most likely the first thing you shakily stumbled through on a borrowed vise, forgoing the whip-finish for just a big blob of superglue. Everything eats buggers. I am low on buggers.

Thing #1 - tying buggers.

I like this beer. I like the label and it reminds me of wholesome things; of clean soil that lives in the little dents and cracks of rocks worn smooth by ancient water, of fields of golden tall grass in the afternoon, of soft Midwestern sunsets that I have never seen but imagine are very beautiful.

I like the name. MOTHERSHIP. It has incalculably size and potential, pushing through the interstellar nothingness at two-third the speed of light.

At a predetermined date the flight computer will fire the auxiliary thrusters and rotate the craft one-hundred-and-eighty degrees to begin the deceleration burn. The main drives will fire for eight years, slowing the ship to running speed before the flight crew is woken to make preparations for entering your mouth.

It is tasty in my mouth. Especially with spring rolls.

Thing #2 - drinking beer.

I saw my neighbor talking to the mailman and felt sorry for the guy. My neighbor is lonely and ruthless in his quest for people to talk at and the poor mailman has no choice but to walk through the mans front yard six days a week. Easy prey.

He stands holding his little blind dog, slippers kicking around the dust telling you about residents in the neighborhood steeling money from the dresser draws of dead people, about his "nigger friends" because "that's how we used to say it down south", about how young folk can't name any of the supreme court justices and that people used to know things.

You nod and contribute the occasional "yeah" or "un huh" and think about the fact that the new issue of BloodKnot is out and you would like to check it out but you may never get the chance. You make your move and start slowly backing away towards the sanctity of your carport.

The Blue Collar Issue.

Thing #3 - reading BloodKnot.

Stick that in your schema and smoke it.

The End.

-Alex who needs to clean his bathroom but did all these things instead.


  1. If your neighbor is actually from the South, I can only apologize for him representing the rest of us. It seems the only ones who manage to actually escape the region are very poor representatives of how things really are... we aren't all toothless crazy hermits with no class.

  2. I dig the mothership as well. Although for these summer months I don't mind the ranger ipa to quench my thirst...


  3. Don't worry, Jay. We know that... He still has most of his teeth, anyways.

    But seriously, he is not a bad guy. Not very politically correct, but unmalevolent.

    I agree, Ben. Ranger is good on a sweaty day.

  4. New Belgium makes shitty beer. Sorry--had to vent. Love your blog otherwise...

  5. Never apologize. It is a sign of weakness.


What sayeth you?