I would like to propose a toast.It has been a couple weeks since I have been to the water. I was starting to get a little stale. After reading a post on fishbeer, I was inspired to create "The Toast" seen above. You know that would look awesome on your wall.
According to Wikipedia, a fish is defined as any non-tetrapod chordate, (i.e., an animal with a backbone), that has gills throughout life and has limbs, if any, in the shape of fins. They are not cute or cuddly, and unlike some popular speculation they are not even close to intelligent. And please don't try to tell me that the last big brown that wrapped your leader around some unseen sunken object and broke you off had any idea what it was doing other than spasmatically freaking out. By the way, if fish could scream that would be terrifying. Just imagine after a hook-set, your fighting that big bow wen he jumps out of the water and AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! splash. I'm just sayin'. But anyways....
If only these slippery bug-eating creatures from watery dimensions could comprehend the power they held over some of us. Just for a second, just a taste of the heart-pounding, frenzied-eyed lunacy that drives us out into threatening landscapes, waterscapes and any other scapes that lead to pescatorial pursuit. Would they think us mad?
Herbert Hoover once said that "Fishing is a discipline in the equality of men - for all men are equal before fish." Throwing them right up there with the Law and God himself is a hefty burden to bear, but that added weight does not seem to bother our little shoulder-less friends. And monkeys can't breath under water.
So, all you heathens, bow your heads and raise your glasses. Make sacrifice your 12-pack and hotdog stuffed bratwurst to the lords of the liquid realm. Rejoice in the glory of the catch and hail your scaly master.
Or don't. After all, it's just a fucking fish.